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[10 Jan 2010|09:24pm] |
I told people i'd do this, so like last year, here's my top ten moments of 2009:
10. Seeing The Nightman Cometh live.
9. Playing with Margaret's new puppies.
8. Leaving the country for the first time, seeing some of the world.
7. Coming back home after four months.
6. Working enough over the fall to get decent Christmas presents for people for once.
5. Amanda visiting me in Prague
4. The trip to southern Moravia for the Fašanky festival, the Czech equivalent of Mardi Gras.
3. Getting a job as an RA.
2. Taking a road trip to Canada with my favorite people in the world.
1. Finding, after a very long search, a girl both whom I find attractive in every way and who can put up with me.
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[26 Jul 2009|11:39am] |
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[04 Apr 2009|12:44pm] |
my last words will be, 'yeah i had that coming.'
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[04 Mar 2009|05:45pm] |
what do you want?
reply with your answers.
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[05 Jan 2009|10:14pm] |
Here's my top 10 moments of 2008:
10) Getting my Associate's Degree
9) That awkward kiss between Alicia Sacramone and that Italian chick at the Olympics
8) Katy Perry's Hot N Cold
7) That guy we like is gonna be president
6) Free Envy On The Coast show in Carl Place
5) It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia coming into my life
4) Thursday nights on Roosevelt Island
3) Reading the book Ender's Game
2) Amanda's New Year's Party
1) Seeing Henry Rollins' spoken word tour at Town Hall
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[20 Dec 2008|02:27am] |
Day Six,
The hunger is getting worse. Today I had my hands around a child's neck before I caught myself. Don't know how much longer I can hold on. Harder to control urges.
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[30 Nov 2008|03:04am] |
"Sometimes I think I'm from another planet. I bet a lot of people feel like that too. Like no one will know them and that they will never fit into this screaming horrific bullshit festival. They try to hold on to something and somehow it falls out of their grasp, or even worse, it sits out of reach. You can get to feeling displaced, feeling noplaced. I have grown accustomed to feeling alien everywhere I go. It's no big deal. I remember when I used to get off work. I would go eat in the same hamburger place every night. People would always be staring at me, looking at my bald head. At first it used to trip me out and get me mad, but after awhile, I could be in a room full of people staring and I wouldn't even care. You get a strange distance from people that you never get back all the way, no matter what happens. Once you have been on the outside, a part of you will always be out there. It's a good thing too. If you let them, they'll waste your time and make you sick until there's nothing left of you. Every time they push you out, you get more of yourself in return. I figure it's a good deal, seeing how many people have no clue as to who they are. Waiting all night by the phone, hoping that someone will call. Going out with people they don't care about or don't even like because they can't stand the thought of being alone. Because the thought of being alone tells them that they're failures, that people who are alone are always lonely and miserable. I hear so many stories about people having to lie all night because they were out with someone they didn't like and had to keep up some kind of appearance. That's the stuff that gives you nervous breakdowns and cancer. It all makes me feel the same way every time. People for the most part are a waste of time. The more time you get to yourself, the better."
-Henry Rollins, Exhaustion Blues, Black Coffee Blues
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[31 Oct 2008|12:56am] |
i've decided to go abroad to prague next semester. that's in the czech republic. the last ten days or so have been the busiest ten days of my life. if for nothing else, i think i'll copy them down here so the next time i'm feeling useless i can tell myself that i am capable of getting things done. i'm also feeling overwhelmed and i hope against hope that for once writing it down will work as a mental pressure valve to ease my mind some. for anyone going through their friends page reading this, i invite and actually encourage you to skip this next paragraph, since we both know to anyone but me it's inane and not particularly interesting.
i sent some emails and went to the study abroad office to talk to people about going abroad. i went home to get a birth certificate and stuff for a passport. i went through all the paperwork and bureaucracy of getting a same-day passport, since in order to get a student visa in time i didn't have time to wait even the expedited two weeks. i've been working twelve hours a week at the campus gym. since i don't get paid for two pay cycles (a little over a month) i had to find some other way to get money, other than asking mom and dad. i participated in two MRI machine experiments for the psych department, because it's easy work and quick money. i had an online archaeology discussion due that was pretty tedious. i've been going to hall council and am on the sustainability committee, since evidently i need to be on a committee to be on hall council (my choice of committee was pretty arbitrary; this one had only two girls on it and i felt bad for them). i saw conan on tuesday (actually the second time i went that tina fey was on). i saw henry rollins on his spoken word tour tonight (the best two and a half hours of my life in at least the past year). i devised a lame halloween costume to go out in, since it seems to be important to megan and heather. i have a spanish presentation early next week that i'm dreading, and that will take some serious preparation this weekend.
i've found lately that i really do enjoy the relative independence of my life here. i by no means pay all of my expenses, but for day-to-day living, i try to be self-sufficient. it bothers me a little that i look down on my friends that just can't seem to stop talking about their fucking boots and jeans and longchamps bags and a million things i'm tired of hearing about. i get a perverse, self-righteous pleasure out of speaking to them condescendingly. that the extent of their financial concerns is how much badgering it will take for daddy to give them enough money to buy that whateverthefuck from bloomingdales. i know it bothers them that i'm so cruel, but that's who i am. i'm proud of the fact that if i don't get money, i don't eat. to that, being worried about not having time to get your nails done between doing your boyfriends laundry and your music homework is absolutely laughable. now i may be thinking this because henry rollins makes me want to cut all the bullshit out of my life, or it may be because i'm reading fight club for the third time, but when i stop trying to worry (and it is trying; it certainly doesn't come to me naturally) about what kind of jeans i'm wearing, i become aware of how suffocating it is to fret over things like that. that's nothing new, and no excuse for being a bad friend.
i'll be going abroad in a couple months. that upsets them even more, which in turn upsets me. i don't freak out about it all the time, just when i wake up in the morning or have waves of panic throughout the day and think, in three months i'll be gone for twice as long as i've been at college this semester. i'm banking on the fact that i do well when i'm alone. amanda will be upset, i know, and my mother will probably cry at the airport. as nice as these things are, and i can appreciate the value of being cared about, i don't do well with affection and it will make me feel crummy for probably the entire flight. but once i'm there for a week or so, i think i'll fall into a rhythm. i'm twenty and i've only left the country once to go to my cousin erica's wedding in canada. i've never left the time zone. i think it's important for the development of the person i want to be that i go. i want to see things.
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[08 Oct 2008|02:41pm] |
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so i'm sitting in math class. ta/professor is blathering on about cost-benefit analysis, and this material requires about five percent of my attention. when my laptop dies i'll have to start taking notes, anyway. there's a cute girl next to me reading a newspaper. i'd say something lame like "how many people in this class do you think are taking notes?" except that she looks like a hipster and has that look that says "if you talk to me, i'm going to stare at you like you're diseased until you leave me alone." god, i hate hipsters. first i thought it was some unfortunate subculture, like girls with that crimped, wet hair look, but it's metastasized into a full-blown epidemic. i imagine some sort of virus seeps in from v-neck t-shirts purchased at american apparel, and while girls are sleeping their brain chemistry is altered to like high-pitched, whiny singing and roman gladiator sandals. subject wakes up next morning thinking about how it's probably a good idea to buy a broken social scene album. there's this cute girl who sits next to me in one of my classes [whom i've named zoe (after azura skye in zoe, duncan, jack, and jane, whom she reminds me of), since i've taken to giving the people around me back stories to cure my boredom]. she's really cute except that her laugh is a little annoying. or so i thought, until she walked into class with a red plaid collared shirt and a cardigan today. a real prospect killer, you know? i really don't understand why people like looking like this. about half the girls in this room are wearing some sort of hipster wear. shame on anybody who engages in intimate acts with these people, thereby sending the message that this is okay. maybe we should get some sort of movement going to get somebody really uncool to start dressing like a hipster, so that it won't be cool anymore (sort of like the chimpokomon episode in south park). i'm seeing nicholas cage with big, plastic-rimmed dentist glasses, joey fatone in skinny jeans, helen hunt in gold leggings and an oversized, button-down shirt. together, we can do it.
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[19 Mar 2008|06:57pm] |
i'm back in west islip til sunday. amanda went on vacation today, but she'll be back saturday. brian is coming home tonight. rachel is home (i think). christine will be home saturday. that girl i used to know last summer is busy, as usual. until people are around i guess i'll entertain myself.
i really do live in a beautiful town. i want to run, but it would seem that my calves have decided that they're never going to heal. has anybody ever dealt with shin splints and have advice other than stretching before and after? i considered buying running shoes, but apparently they're like a hundred dollars, and i don't have that much to invest just for running sneakers at the moment.
i'm looking around for maybe an internship at a publishing company over the summer. although that would mean i'd have to pay for a place to live, probably a nyu housing, and that means it would have to be a paying internship. it also occurred to me that if i'm going to get into publishing, i'm either going to have to live in the city, or commute into the city for work. i was hoping to get out of the city after college, but looks like nobody ever really leaves. it's like smoking, or heroin, or vocal motion. but the city has grown on me a lot since i moved in a year and a half ago. maybe i'll like it even more by the time i graduate.
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[24 Feb 2008|09:44pm] |
i'm at work, and it's either do homework or update livejournal. the oscars are on, but seeing as how the only movie i saw this year was evan almighty, and my disdain for awards shows, i have little interest in that. instead, i am going to share with you a list that we came up with in literary interpretation last week. we were sitting in the back while some asian guy was going on about phenomenology in the short story i didn't finish, so me and a couple other people made a list of dirty novels, like in the way a porno title will be a play on words of an actual movie title.
we came up with:
The Great 'Gasm
Of Mice In Men
Whore of the Worlds
The Rapes of Wrath (my personal favorite)
The Red Vag of Courage
Scat on a Hot Tin Roof
Whorehouse-Five
Snatch-22
The Hitchhiker's Guide to Uranus
The Cunt of Monte Cristo
The Boy Fuck Club
Native Cunt
James and the Giant Penis
Willy Wanker and his Chocolate Factory
Through the Large Man's Ass
Angela's Asses
I, Hobot
Clifford the Big Red Cock
Breakfast at Tiffany's... Vagina
The Cockwork Orange
The Feminine Miss Freak
The Pearl--Necklace
The Girl with the Pearl Necklace
The Lovely Boners
The Dick Also Rises
The Golden Pump-Ass
Lord of the G-Strings
The Man Who Loved Reach Arounds
Goosehumps
and then we had Tranny Hall and Three Men In a Baby. not books, but still funny.
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[02 Feb 2008|03:03pm] |
Classes this semester are nuts already. I have more work than i know what to do with. it doesn't help that i've been slightly addicted to mario sunshine, either. joe's been kind of a dick this week because he thinks i put milk in his new espresso maker. i didn't.
i have spanish four days a week, but i like my professor and the people in my class, so it's not so bad. at least i have fridays off again. my literary interpretation professor is blind, which i thought was almost poetic. she reminds me of julia louis-dreyfus's character in arrested development. anyway, we had to buy this literature anthology for the class, and i was flipping through it the other day when i found a poem i liked, and i don't usually like poems. it's called "This Be the Verse," and it's by Philip Larkin.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can.
And don't have any kids yourself.
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[02 Dec 2007|12:25am] |
this semester has been very different from freshman year. i live in the financial district, which is below soho and chinatown and the lower east side, which is below the village, where my college is. as it turns out, my suitemate from freshman year, max, transferred to USC, and my other suitemates live in union square, which is above the village, as do megan and heather. parker lives somewhere in the west village, which i try to avoid because i get lost there. i'm pretty cut off.
i also don't understand what happened to the people i knew. i haven't heard from parker much, and heather and megan are really flaky. they bail on me all the time. i can see calling a week in advance to cancel plans, or a couple days even, but calling two hours after you're supposed to be somewhere for dinner is not okay, or maybe i just have high standards.
i haven't had much contact with southern women, but if blanche dubois and megan o'brien are any indication, they're all nymphomaniac closet alcoholics who seem really nice and polite at first, but the longer they're around the more crazy they become. they ask for favors out of nowhere, don't provide any sort of friendship, and still expect everyone to be there for them during their mental collapses. i had hoped that a few months away from school would do megan some good, but instead of going home for the summer she lived with a family she babysits for. she's convinced herself that the children need her now, and she won't leave them even for a night to do me an important favor.
heather is the kind of person i could never have seen myself being friends with in high school. she has a large collection of tight abercrombie and fitch shirts and doesn't buy jeans that cost less than two hundred dollars. she's concerned with nothing but clothes and her catamite boyfriend from home. she drinks mike's hard lemonade and wine coolers because that's all that she can handle. she's a more amicable person than i thought, but she's also extremely flighty.
heather's roommate is alex, a girl from massachusetts who, although nice enough, doesn't seem to be in the situation much except to whine about stupid things or egg heather on when she whines about stupid things.
heather had a bad day a few days ago, so she had to engage in what she and megan refer to as "retail therapy," which in spoiled little bitch language means instead of coming home and eating a quart of ice cream like normal nineteen-year-old girls, they have to go out and spend four hundred dollars. so heather goes to bloomingdales, she gets charged twice for the same thing on her credit card, and since now she has to fill out some paperwork to fix it, she's too upset to leave her room, and so i cleaned the apartment and bought things to make for dinner for nothing.
this is why i don't depend on people.
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[15 Oct 2007|02:42pm] |
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i've decided that todd disotell is the coolest professor ever. my human evolution professor has a mohawk. every day he wears a t-shirt that has to do with evolution, except for today. today he wore a bad religion t-shirt. he's going to their concert tonight. he's spoken to greg graffin about evolutionary biology, which is what graffin has his PhD in (also, they both graduated form cornell, where they had the same advisor). he now teaches life sciences at UCLA. todd disotell also plays clips in class from the daily show, the colbert report, or the simpsons daily, all that relate to our course material.
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[03 Sep 2007|02:01am] |
i miss her.
also, i told myself i would stop posting drunk.
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[02 Sep 2007|02:19am] |
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i didn't know how to pluralize dildo. it looks like dill does. i hope i never have to again. like in a deposition: "how many dildoes were there?" "i don't know, but i'm sore and i want to go home."
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[13 Aug 2007|12:55am] |
[adam is mostly naked in dressing room. man knocks on door, turns handle and opens door without waiting for answer]
adam: um, occupied.
man: what? i think somebody's in there
adam: [slightly louder] OCCUPIED.
man: somebody's in there [walks away].
the moral of the story is, the locks in the dressing rooms at target do not function properly.
i got some shorts from target. that was the most interesting thing i've done today.
we were walking down the street drunk last night, and some guy came up to us and started yelling and getting pushy because a girl took his car. we were almost as confused as he was.
sometimes i think i should be a writer. i already have the alone and unable to relate to people part down.
i think this is going to be a very long week. i hope it goes quickly.
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[16 Jul 2007|02:55pm] |
can you name an intelligently written, animated, and acted children's show on tv now? i bet you can't. even more, can you name a cartoon like that? hey arnold was a well-made show. it was deep and meaningful, and the music was perfectly fitted to it, even if it didn't appeal to children.
so i turn on nickelodeon, and you know what i see on? spongebob squarepants. so he lives in this town at the bottom of the sea. hey arnold has intricate city landscapes. spongebob has a few props and then some hippie flower designs function as a backdrop. it's like some kind of shitty minimalist theatre.
well, at least the characters are original. except that he's an average guy who lives in the suburbs. he has a pet that doesn't speak, but somehow has a personality. he has a grouchy neighbor who hates him. he has a stupid, fat best friend. his boss is a money grubbing, overworking asshole. that sounds a lot like rocko's modern life to me.
and what's the allure of it? the same jokes over and over again. hey i'm stupid. i don't understand this. i'm going to bounce off the walls and perform karate chops. now i'm at work. i'm flipping burgers, and they all land in a pile. and to children this is hilarious. and that's okay, because as long as our children are laughing, us twenty-four-year-old parents can watch tv and hang out with our friends and pretend that we're still single and don't have children to raise. we need to start expecting more from our children.
i inadvertently saw harry potter last week. i was out to coffee with someone, and i get a call from lindsay paladino. jess magee's little brother bailed on her and she needs someone to go see harry potter with. and she already got tickets, and she's desperate, and blah blah blah. i owed lindsay for the time we went to see sin city, so we went. it was much easier getting to the theater than it was the last time we went. the movie was really good. probably the best harry potter movie they've made yet. it didn't feel like a kids movie. it was awkward and funny at all the right times. i saw danielle and gabby dipretoro there gabby waved and then ignored me. she's just like that. then i saw chelsea berdolt i think. i can't be sure.
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[28 Jun 2007|12:39am] |
after writing the following, i realize this is pretty scatterbrained and i apologize.
i'm pretty pathetic and i obsess over things i shouldn't. i thought burying myself in work would help take my mind off of life. so i worked a couple over-forty-hour weeks, but all that seemed to do was kill my social life even more. also made me realize how much of my income goes to coffee, especially when i need it to function at a job.
in other news, i think i would like romance in my summer. i don't mean raging-hormones-drunken-making-out romance, and i don't mean epic the notebook love. i mean the simple things that occupy life. there has to be some single girl in west islip or the immediately surrounding areas that would like to be treated to coffee, ice cream, meals, movie admission, and whatever else dating entails. tell your friends, ladies.
i'm doing summer band. its fun because i get to see people i miss, i get to play fun music, i play mallets again which i kind of missed, and it may be the last time i play in an ensemble, since i'm not coming up from the financial district once a week all next year, and by the year after i'll probably hopelessly after practice. but we'll see about that. still, i feel foolish being in a band i have no business being in, since i didn't even go to high school this past year, and i'm not majoring in music or anything. whatevs.
i saw evan almighty this past weekend. it was really good. i would say not as good as bruce almighty, but it starred steve carell and lauren graham, so it would have been very difficult for it to have been a bad movie.
i joined all 4 sports gym this week. i went for the first time yesterday and i was scared by the machines. they were different from the gym at school i'm used to. a few of the machines looked like torture devices. i hear mike's spin class is really good. i don't really get spin classes. biking helps your quadriceps (the pushing leg muscles, but not the pulling) and is a cardio exercise. and also possibly glutes, but i'd have to look into that. it seems silly and inefficient compared to full-body karate and everything i'm used to. maybe i'll try it anyway.
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[07 Jun 2007|09:58pm] |
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i want to go to a coffee house. a real coffee house. where they serve you coffee in a mug that you have to return to the establishment. where there's no little plastic lids to suck coffee out of. where you can tell how hot the coffee is before seeing what kind of searing liquid shoots out of the top. i will not settle for shitty starbucks coffee anymore. coffee you need to pay extra for shots to make it taste better. i will not stand for dunkin donuts, that impersonal establisment with its uncomfortable chairs. i want atmosphere. i want a jazz trio. i want beautiful waitresses. i want dim lights. i want to feel the experience of going out for coffee. I WANT TO FEEL.
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